On Saturday the 26th Mitch took Sawyer to his parent’s house with him for the afternoon. I spent the afternoon cleaning and relaxing. I laid down for a nap at about 5:00 in the evening but started having contractions that were about 90 seconds apart lasting 40 +/- seconds each. I had a feeling that they would taper but informed my birth team and let them know I would keep them posted. I laid in bed for a while just watching the contractions. I could see the muscles of my stomach move upward to the top of my uterus, tighten, and then move downward as they relaxed. It was absolutely fascinating. Soon I asked Mitch to bring home a hot dog and slurpee, to which he said he would bring a slurpee but we have hot dogs to make at home. I said okay and hung up the phone but ended up calling him back within 15 minutes to let him know I wasn’t sure I would have time to make a hot dog (he was on his way home) if this was the real deal and I wanted to ensure I had some food in my belly. Turns out, 7-11 was out of hot dogs so he came home with just a slurpee and we had time to make hot dogs at home. After eating we decided to play in the yard with Sawyer. She was standing at the top of the stairs on our patio next to me when Mitch let the dogs out - and they slammed into her and knocked her down the stairs. She folded in half as she tumbled and hit her head before coming to a stop on the concrete. Instant tears and one of the biggest goose-eggs I’ve ever seen. We consoled her, checked her pupils, etc. before she continued to play in the yard. I thought we would for sure need to go to the hospital for her, but she’s a tough lady and checked all of our EMT boxes for being able to stay home and play. However, my contractions came to a stop. I told my midwife, Amy, about them stopping due to me going into mama mode for Sawyer - which as it turns out is not that uncommon.
It rained throughout the night, with a rare storm that moved from East to West rather than West to East. Mitch asked me in the middle of the night if I was hearing the intense thunder, as it had woken him up. Something about thunder and lightning is so soothing to me when I’m trying to sleep. I settled back into bed and cuddled up with Sawyer as I fell back asleep. At 5:30 in the morning I woke up with contractions. I laid there and listened to the storm and tried to just enjoy the peace I felt until about 6:00 am when I decided to start timing the contractions. They were coming every 2.5 minutes and lasting 45 +/- seconds each. I timed them for about an hour and woke Mitch up at 7 in the morning to let him know that it might be the real deal based on the timing of my contractions but I wasn’t in any pain and didn’t feel any sense of “labor.” I got out of bed and started laundry, picked up our living room, and did dishes as Mitch made us a breakfast of pancakes and eggs with coffee. I had asked Amy earlier in the morning if we could come in sometime to have a cervical check to see if I was dilating at all, though I didn’t care how much - anything 1cm or more would make me happy because it meant that these contractions were productive, and to have a non-stress test to ensure Sage was handling everything well. We agreed to meet at 10am.
When we arrived to the birth center for the appointment we found that Sage was sounding perfect! Such a relief to know she was doing well. I got undressed and laid down for my vaginal exam, expecting to maybe be 2 centimeters dilated. The first words out of Amy’s mouth were “Girl, you’re not going anywhere!” I was confused until she explained that I was 7 centimeters dilated, 80% effaced, with a bulging bag of waters, and Sage at 0 station. This was the real deal, I was in labor. However, I wanted to go home and nap. So we left at 10:30am after promising to not leave the city and to come in immediately if my waters broke or anything changed with my labor because Amy thought she would come fast and furious if either of those things happened.
We first went to 7-11 for a Slurpee (can you tell I’m addicted?), to get some gas, and to put air in Mitch’s tire since he has a slow leak. While stopped we let our photographer know that she needed to make her way out to Tooele county, and let our families know that they also needed to make their way out. My biggest concern was if everything were to happen quickly that nobody would be here, especially my mom who I wanted in the room. They all started to make their way out and Mitch’s family went to Applebee’s in town to get some food. We then went home and after about 15 minutes I started to feel extremely warm and like I needed to use the bathroom. My body emptied itself out, and I texted my birth team and family to let them know we are headed back to the birth center. I called my mom and told her she needed to come out as soon as possible, Mitch called his family and told them to get the food to go, and Morgan (our photographer) was already waiting at the birth center. My mom was about a 45 minute drive away, so I just kept hoping that nothing would happen for at least another hour.
At 11:20 we arrived back at the birth center. Less than an hour from our initial departure. I felt great, with no pain during contractions. We took our time setting up the light curtain I bought to hang near the tub, fill the tub, turn on music, etc. My mom showed up before I got into the tub, which was a huge weight off of my shoulders.
By 12:40 in the afternoon I was in the pool and transition had hit. It did not hit me hard and sudden like it did when I was in labor with Sawyer. I could slowly start to feel the feelings of self doubt creep in, and for a while I was able to talk myself down from them by reminding myself that these feelings and thoughts are a part of the process and it meant I was in transition which is near the end. Then the feelings started to intensify, and I could feel myself panicking. My midwives gave me homeopathic tablets like chamomile to help calm me, and a washcloth with lavender essential oil to breathe in. During transition with Sawyer I begged for death, and told Amy that Sawyer could die too because I was over it - I was terrified and exhausted. This time, I asked if I could just tap out and was trying my damndest to accept the fear I was feeling and breathe it out. Huge difference from the first time. I was laboring on my knees with my arms on the side of the tub and Mitch was behind me applying counter pressure to my hips and massaging my back. At 1:27 I asked him if I had the sacral purple line (it’s a dark purple line that runs from the anus to the top of the butt crack that indicates dilation based on how high from the anus it is) and he informed me that I did have it and it went all the way up. It meant that I was fully dilated. Sawyer was in and out of the tub the entire time I was in it. I believe she jumped in with us three separate times. During transition she brought me a cool washcloth, asked if I was okay, etc. in between tub time and playing with family members in the other room.
At 2:10pm transition ended. I felt much more relaxed. My birth team let me know that what I was feeling is the calm before the commotion, and to try to enjoy it and relax as much as possible. I tried to focus in on Sage’s movements and soak them in, knowing the time I would feel us as one was coming to an end. I took some selfies with my mom and with Mitch, checked into my phone to try to relax, listened to music, and really just enjoyed this time. I felt so at peace, I felt so good. I was handling the contractions well by focusing on relaxing my muscles through them as Mitch provided support. I still did not really feel like it was labor. This felt too easy, too calm, too comfortable. I was not in pain with contractions, and I could feel Sage slowly moving downward with each one. It felt like she was bungee jumping a bit, which I had mentioned, or like she was taking two steps forward and one step back. It was incredible being so in tune with my body and feeling it working with her to bring her closer to being Earthside.
At 3:50 we got out of the tub and attempted to take a nap in the bed. Ha! When people say that warm water is nature’s epidural they really aren’t joking. I couldn’t get comfortable laying down and my contractions felt much more intense and uncomfortable out of the water. I was going to attempt walking to the bathroom but I didn’t want to have any more contractions on land and also didn’t want to birth Sage in the hallway. We were back in the tub by 4:15.
At 4:30 I had Amy do another vaginal exam to see if she really was moving downward. I had a cervical lip and bulging bag of waters still. She offered to break my waters and move the cervical lip but since Sage had descended from 0 to +2 station (out of +4 stations) I declined. My body was progressing, Sage sounded good, I trusted the process. I also knew I had a shot at having Sage en caul and I was not about to do anything to mess that up if that’s how she was meant to be birthed. If my waters broke naturally that was totally fine, but what had gotten me to this point was trusting the process and my body and Sage.
Sometime between 4:30 and 7:30pm Sawyer fell asleep in the other room. At first I was sad that she would miss the moment her sister would be born, but then I realized that she needed her rest too and labor is hard work for everyone.
I labored until 7:00pm when I requested that Mitch perform a vaginal exam. I didn’t know what I was feeling for and couldn’t get a good angle. He did so, said that he could feel baby lower than earlier, and by the measurements of him showing the midwives how far up she was on his finger we found that she was at +3 station. One more to go, and that last station is crowning. During each contraction I would say things like “Come on baby, come on!” “We can do this!” “Come on baby, you can do this!” “We’re a team, I’m ready when you are!” and I would sob. I have never felt such powerful emotion. Between contractions I could feel her kicks, and we were so close to her birth that I was overwhelmed with emotion. Sage is our last baby, so each kick I felt I knew could be the last. I knew I was minutes away from never being pregnant again. My body was doing an amazing thing and was so in tune with Sage as she did her part in birth. Sawyer was going to be a sister. Our family was about to be complete. I was finally going to meet the human I had bonded with over the last 39 weeks and 3 days. All of these thoughts consumed me, and it was one of the most beautiful moments of my entire life. I was mourning and celebrating all at once. I was preparing myself.
At 7:17 My waters broke. Whoa baby things instantly got more intense. Within one minute I felt the “ring of fire” and remember thinking and vocalizing that she was going to split me in two, that I was getting a fourth degree tear, that I was about to have rectal prolapse, etc. This was painful, and I wasn’t afraid to yell at this point. I could no longer relax but instead I pushed on the contraction to try to get through the pain.
At 7:22 Sage’s head was birthed. Mitch reached down and felt her head as she was between two worlds. I told him to stop moving her, and then Amy informed me that Sage was moving herself. She needed to rotate her shoulders for birth, and that’s what I was feeling. Within 30 seconds of her head being birthed, I had another contraction. I pushed with my body, and could not have stopped if my life depended on it. She was born at 7:22pm. I caught her myself, and as I sat back into Mitch and pulled her to my chest all of the midwives reached for her. Suddenly Amy’s hands were unwrapping her umbilical cord from her neck, and it was wrapped around her little neck four times - a record for Amy. No wonder Sage took her time being birthed! I immediately got a shot of pitocin in my thigh to prevent hemorrhage since that was the issue I had with Sawyer. By 7:25 she cleared her own lungs. Bryanna, the other midwife in attendance, tried to apply traction to the placenta to birth it. She instructed me to bear down and push as she did so during contractions (contractions don’t end immediately after birth, surprise!) but I didn’t like the way it felt so I held Sage in one arm, grabbed the umbilical cord, and applied traction myself as I pushed during a contraction. Our heart shaped placenta was birthed immediately when I did it myself.
At 7:40 Mitch clamped the cord, and I cut it. He cut the cord for Sawyer so I wanted to do it for Sage. Those suckers are tough to cut through! Sage was officially separated from my body. I was again full of emotion. We then moved to the bed at 7:53 and much to my surprise I had zero tearing. I firmly believe it is because I listened to my body and Sage and trusted the process.
At 8:01 Sawyer came into the room from her nap and met her little sister for the first time. Everyone was in the room to see it. She seemed to easily acknowledge Sage, until we asked her to give Sage her binky. That was not okay, and Sawyer did not want Sage to have any pacifiers because she wanted them all. Sage then had her first bowel movement which was a blowout. It took a four man team to change her. Mitch changed both of our girls’ first diapers, but man, Sage’s was intense.
I was up and walking around at 9:52pm, feeling great! I was sore everywhere, but I wasn’t in pain and I still had enough energy to use the restroom (no peri bottle needed, score!) where Mitch literally helped me put on my diaper. I never thought we would have three in diapers under the same roof, but depends after birth are a game changer for the first few days.
10:02pm and Sage had her first latch. I was beyond relieved. I felt like a first time mom since after Sawyer was born she was separated from me pretty quickly and for quite a while so I didn’t get to nurse her for hours and I had lost so much blood that I never really produced milk. I felt a new sense of pride in my body when Sage latched and nursed for a bit. Not only did we work together for her birth but it reaffirmed my thought that we are a team and would continue working together for breastfeeding and beyond. I’m so blessed to have such an incredible team - I have never felt more complete than I do when I see my two daughters and Mitch together. Sawyer went to sleepover with Gammy Lesa, and Mitch, Sage, and myself were headed home by 10:52pm.
It’s SO nice to be able to sleep in your own bed right after birth. At some points during labor I was told to envision my happy place - and I envisioned my bed, ha! We slept so much better together and in the comfort of our own home than we did in the hospital after Sawyer. No uncomfortable couch beds, no worrying about being lectured for bed-sharing, no nurses coming in every two hours, etc.
Sage’s birth healed us, in more ways than we knew we needed.
Introducing
Sage Anthony
Born at 7:22pm on May 27th, 2018
5lbs 13oz & 19.5”
JUST LOVE. ALL OF IT! So proud of you.
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